Goodbye 2009

Looking back on 2009, it's relatively easy to compose a mental list of some of the best and worst of the year. So saying that, let's take a look at some the highlights:

Worst book of the year: The Last Centurion (John Ringo)

Techincially, this is a 2008 book, but I read it in 2009 and that makes it a contender for this year. However, it's here because it simply blows all other contenders out of the water. The Last Centurion is characterised by the worst first-person writing I've seen in a published book, hectoring, offensive partisanship and an author avatar that pushes the boundaries of the Mary Sue. The book starts with a ten chapter screed against seemingly everything, including a chapter-long NHS bashing and a stunning moment of Bush-shilling. The rest of the book is little better and the finale is so far-out stupid that my eyes actually glaze over every time I try and read it. It is a measure of how bad The Last Centurion is that I was openly wondering all the way through the novel as to whether it had actually seen an editor during its creation. Empirical evidence says no.

Runners-up: Claws That Catch (Ringo & Taylor)

Biggest Disappointment of the Year: Torch of Freedom and Storm from the Shadows (David Weber and Eric Flint)

I've been looking forwards to the new Honorverse novels since the events of At All Costs. Unfortunately, Weber's obviously waiting for Mission of Honor to start the new plot. As such Torch of Freedom and Storm from the Shadows were mere holding pattern books. Both fleshed out exactly what's going on with Mesa, with Storm taking the strategic side and Torch taking the human side, but as a result, they weren't the greatest novels. In particular Storm suffered horrendously with very little action happening during the course of the novel.

Runners-Up: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Micheal Bay), My Warriors of Chaos Army this summer

Best Series of the Year: Mahou Sensei Magister Negi (Ken Akumetsu)

I'm a big fan of Akumetsu-Sensei's Negima and this year has been simply brilliant. The year started with the trapping of the cast on the magical world and several volumes later, they're almost all together finally. Their varying adventures have been original and interesting. There's been loads of development of the characters and the relationships. Incredibly, the action scenes have gone from strength to strength, opening with the epically mental battle for the gateport and simply sky-rocketing from there. Many questions that have been in the story are finally being answered (like exactly what is going on with Asuna and why?) with fresh ones being posed constantly. Those new characters being introduced are likable and multi-dimensional. I'm probably never going to stop admiring the skill that's going into juggling the forty-odd characters in the series. Negima may be the best action manga currently being published and it's been a constant priority purchase for me over the last year. Even better, the new OVAs are excellent, finally showing just how awesome the battles in the manga could be if animated.

Runners-Up: Codex Alera (Jim Butcher), Full Metal Alchemist (Hiromu Arakawa),

Surprise of the Year: Star Trek (J.J. Abrams)

I'm going to be honest. I wasn't looking forwards to this movie. I've never been the biggest fan of Star Trek, but this film was impressive. The central ideas and themes were strong, the characters were well-done and the visuals were awe-inspiring. Sure, the plot was a little thin and the time-travel elements weren't stunning, but the film was full of charisma. Both Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine dominate the film with their performances. There's some wonderfully funny moments, courtesy of the other characters (Simon Pegg's Scotty is a constant supply of hilarity, especially in the wonderful nod to the Enterprise series). Over all, I was hugely impressed.

Runners-Up: X-Men: Misfits (Dave Roman, Raina Telgemeier and Anbu)

Book of the Year: Fruits Basket 23 (Natsuki Takuya)

The finale of the incredible Fruits Basket series is effectively a volume long epilogue. That's not to knock it. I've always enjoyed a well written epilogue and this is definitely one. It's got the requisite tying up of loose ends and the taking of new paths. It's both sad and happy at the same time as the cast confront their inevitable separation. There's a brutal moment where it is made clear that there are some scars which aren't healed yet. There's still a plentiful amount of FB's trademark humour, mostly thanks to Yuki and his friend Manabe. There's an almost elegant brutality to this finale, with the cast accepting the minor sadness of losing each other as the price for their new found freedom. Over all, it's a wonderful ending to the series and a great excerpt from it.

Runners-Up: Too many to mention

Anime of the Year: To Aru Kakagu No Railgun (A certain scientific railgun)

Railgun is the sequel to the relatively blah To Aru Majutsu No Index (A certain magical index). Unlike its predecessor, Railgun is far better scripted and characterised. The central four girls are each likeable and unique with a good group dynamic defined far more by personality than power. The art and action is top-notch with several stand-out powered battles towards the end. Best of all is the gloriously fun storyline, where almost every moment has something to do with the whole part. It all simply works.

Runners-Up: Basquatch, Gurren Lagann

And now a few notes about what I'm looking forwards to:

First Lord's Fury

The final novel in Jim Butcher's excellent Codex Alera, I've been looking for this for the last month. It's not hard to list the reasons why I'm looking forwards to this. We're finally going to see the battle for Alera between Tavi and the Vord. We're finally going to see the last moves from the Aquitanes. And then there's the big question of exactly what Tavi met at the very end of the previous novel. Given the general excellence of the previous novels, it's not hard to imagine how much I'm going to enjoy reading it.

Mission of Honor

Given how much I complained about Storm from the Shadows and Torch of Freedom above, you might be surprised to know I didn't regret buying them. At their most basic level, they've set up an incredible avalanche to come. Manpower and Mesa are coming and no one's ready for them. The sheer epic nature of the coming story arc is awe-inspiring. Weber is looking at the breaking up of the Solarian League, the sole superpower of the Honorverse stories. The changes that are coming will be insane.

Iron Man 2

I've only recently seen the first trailer from this, but I've got to admit I'm interested. It retains the glorious madness of the first and Mickey Rourke's Whiplash looks he's going to kick butt as well as provide a certain stalkerish pathos to the story. After all who can't love a guy who can freely boast 'I have successfully privatised world peace!'?

Merry Christmas all.

Crown of Slaves Review

Author: David Weber & Eric Flint

Publishers: Baen Books

Quick Synopsis: Slaves in a sci-fi future capture their own world with the help of a few unusual characters.

Quick Review: Simply magical. One of the best books by either author

I've written a lot of reviews criticising some of Baen's more dreadful novels and ideas, so it only seems right that I actually be nice about one of their books. Crown of Slaves is one of the best novels I've read and may simply be my favourite Baen book. It's an incredibly intelligent story about nation-building and is a welcome addition to Weber's excellent Honorverse story universe.

Plot: A number of individuals (including a Manticoran princess who wants to be a spy and the galaxy's most wanted terrorist) from the Honorverse come together for the funeral of a famed anti-slavery advocate on the planet Erewhon, foremost among them Victor Cachat, a 'troubleshooter' for the Republic of Haven. Seeing an opportunity to advance his own star-nation's interests, he co-opts the local powers (including Manticore, the main good guys of the Honorverse) into helping him steal the nearby slave-plantation planet Congo from its owners, the delightfully hissable Manpower Corporation. In doing so, his allies lay the groundwork for a sane nation by the creation of their very own Crown of Slaves.

Like any good book, Crown Of Slaves is complex and has many parts. What starts as a state funeral segues into an assassination attempt then two separate hostage rescues before ending with the stealing of an entire planet and the foundation of a new nation. The impressive part of this story is that it works. There is an underlying logic to the entire business that works and the groundwork for every element is laid well in advance. The concept of a ex-slave nation and its myriad difficulties is well laid out early on with an emphasis on how hard it is for the ex-slaves to actually be independent and successful with a passel of pissed of ex-owners on their case, as well as how hard it is to subliminate their understandable anger into constructive purposes. The political scientist who creates this nation (the excellent W.E.B Du Havel, ex-slave and owner of more academic prizes than any one mad should really have) comes up with a doozy of a solution and it is a tribute the the characters involved that you don't doubt it for a moment.

It helps that the characters involved are extremely well written. Some of them are Flint regulars from his earlier Honorverse short-stories, in particular Anton Zilwicki, Victor Cachat and Jeremy X. Others existed before in an almost implied fashion in the universe (Princess Ruth for example, the princess who wants to be a spy, is the child of a relationship from an earlier Honorverse short story), while others are entirely new (Berry, Thandi Palane and Web being prime examples). None of them are merely one dimensional with often brilliant personal issues that show up on a regular basis.

The stand-out has to be Victor Cachat, Havenite master spy. Victor is obviously one of Flint's favourite creations (he's the only character to star in two Honorverse short stories) and the reason shows. He's at once an incredibly scary secret agent, one far more ruthless than Daniel Craig's awe-inspiring Bond of recent years, and a good man, almost as horrified by his acts as his allies. This is best exemplified by the interrogation scene part way through the book, where he thoroughly intimidates three very dangerous men and gets information out of them in about a minute. One of them is still utterly terrified of him two weeks later. In a later scene, he is selected to impersonate a religious fanatic because he is the best at acting like one. These scenes of incredible threat and intimidation are tempered by his burgeoning relationship with Thandi Palane, an incredibly dangerous Marine with heavy-world ancestry. It's an awkward, believable romance that makes a genuine impact on the reader.

The other great character is Anton Zilwicki's daughter Berry. She's inveigled into the plot when she is convinced to be disguised as Princess Ruth for security reasons. A rescued orphan from the slums of Old Earth, she's wonderfully described as 'specialising in sanity'. She quickly becomes central to the plot and showcases incredible courage, in particular volunteering to be a hostage with the solid knowledge that she's probably going to be raped. In doing so, she manages to be adopted by a shipload of slaves and a central part of the plot to steal Congo. Her eventual promotion at the end of the novel is entirely believable and one of the best parts of the novel. A particular favourite scene of mine is the scene when she's discussing her historical epitath. The mixture of teenage pride (she objects to both the royal 'we' and 'the great' on the basis that she has enough issues about her weight as is) and clear-eyed determination is simply magical.

It helps that Crown of Slaves is at times extremely funny. The scenes around Thandi and Victor's eventual hooking up are utterly hilarious, going from Victor waking up guilty about the night's debauchery to he and Thandi discovering that a number of characters were spying on them. The moment when Ruth tries to parse a threat of 'regicide' by pointing out that she isn't a sitting royal is surreally hilarious. Jeremy X is possibly the funniest terrorist in fiction (he was designed to be a jester and it worked, Manpower just epically pissed him off first), needling and mocking his friends with massive panache. One great moment come from near the end, where Thandi's superiors list the reasons why she shouldn't be eliminated for quitting. One of them then proceeds to list the people who would be irritated about her death. The last name is Jeremy X and is wonderfully explained with the following line: 'Talk to Manpower. Ask for their bodycount department'.

The only problem with Crown of Slaves is that it comes with a degree of baggage. While it is a stand-alone novel, set as it is in a series with something like eleven previous novels and four short story compilations does mean that there are a few plot points that only really make sense if you've read the rest of the series. You're unlikely to know why Anton and Victor get on when they are on either side of a bitter war unless you've read the story where they first met. Nor are you likely to know exactly why the High Ridge Government in Manticore is so incompetent if you haven't read War of Honor. These are really minor quibbles as the book does a good job of defining exactly what is going on and why. Reading them will just give you a bit of extra colour.

Crown of Slaves is a thoroughly excellent novel with a cracking story, interesting characters and some wonderful scenes that will stick with you for quite a while. Its story is a constant surprise and I've tried to keep as much of it back as possible for your reading pleasure. The best word to define the book is simply 'magical'.

Goodbye Mr Card

Orson Scott Card is one of science fiction's biggest names. His novel, Ender's Game is frankly seminal, a marvellous novel of growing up and war. However, that was a while ago and nowadays, his reputation is a lot worse. His support for right-wing causes has coloured his writing to the tune that Empire, one of his most recent novels, is renown for it's tea-party level excesses. But what's really made him unpopular is his opposition to gay marriage. Still there are a lot of reasons why he might oppose gay marriage, even if I can't think of any sane reasons to oppose it. Then I found this online:

The hypocrites of homosexuality are, of course, already preparing to answer these statements by accusing me of homophobia, gay-bashing, bigotry, intolerance; but nothing that I have said here -- and nothing that has been said by any of the prophets or any of the Church leaders who have dealt with this issue -- can be construed as advocating, encouraging, or even allowing harsh personal treatment of individuals who are unable to resist the temptation to have sexual relations with persons of the same sex. On the contrary, the teachings of the Lord are clear in regard to the way we must deal with sinners. Christ treated them with compassion -- as long as they confessed that their sin was a sin. Only when they attempted to pretend that their sin was righteousness did he harshly name them for what they were: fools, hypocrites, sinners. Hypocrites because they were unwilling to change their behavior and instead attempted to change the law to fit it; fools because they thought that deceiving an easily deceivable society would achieve the impossible goal of also deceiving God.

Basically, it's Card describing his opinions on homosexuality, with respect to his Mormon religion. It's a little distasteful. Firstly, Card consistently treats being gay as a 'phase'. He directly and frequently compares it to childhood experimentation. Indeed so attached is he to this metaphor that he effectively advocates the treatment of homosexuals as children, with their 'punishment' intended to correct behavioral issues rather than punish. This single memetic concept is so incredibly offensive as to be astounding. He is basically saying that every single Gay, Lesbian and Bi person who's ever lived was immature and irresponsible. He is ignoring every person who's ever had to stand up and say 'I am not straight, I cannot take pretending to be so any more', despite the cost in family and friendship. Worse, he's effectively laid the blame on the head of every victim of a gay-bashing ever, as he implies that everything is the fault of the gay person, as they should be able to restrain their sexuality.

In a sane world, the Mormon church would be embarrassed by this, though their Prop Eight support will tell you that in this world, they're not. Card frequently and often establishes that being gay is impossible within the Mormon church, that the only way to be exist in the church is to knuckle down, admit your sin and pretend that you're straight. This is the kind of dialogue that gives the Church of Latter Day Saints such a bad name. Effectively, Card states, to be Mormon is to be anti-gay, because the words of their prophets say so. It's the kind of fundamentalist absolutionism that gives religion a bad name.

To be blunt, by writing this op-ed, Card's cheerfully thrown away his credibility. It's an authoritarian nightmare advocating for the arrest of practicing homosexuals by an author who clearly has no real clue what gay life is like. He equates gay rights with tyranny and seems to believe that his church has the right to dictate someone's sex life. I'm straight and I still find that incredibly offensive

Baen Finally owns up to being Right-Wing (and not in a good way)

Baen Books has long had a reputation for being a bit right wing. It's not entirely unwarranted, given their massive love for all things Heinlein (king of sci-fi libertarianism). Still, they also publish a number of authors (in particular Eric Flint) who are definitely not right wing. However unfortunately, they then turn around and publish something like this:

http://www.webscription.net/p-1153-taxpayers-tea-party.aspx

The book's called Taxpayer's Tea Party by Sharon Cooper and Chuck Asay. It's a reprint of a book published in the 90's during the Republicans' big revolt against Clinton. As one might imagine it's aimed at the Teabagger and their friends. The book doesn't entirely raise one's hope about its contents, proudly proclaiming it's dual forewords by Newt Gringrich and Rush Limbaugh. Yes it has the support of a Republican who resigned from office due to corruption charges and, well, Rush freaking Limbaugh, they guy who has his face next to the dictionary definition of 'Right-Wing Jackass' (For added humour, their website's preview of Taxpayer's Teaparty contains no actual book, just the two forewords and a cartoon I had to keep reminding myself wasn't satire). It's also possibly the sign that Baen's finally fallen down the rabbit hole they've been can-canning around for the last decade or so.

The thing is, Baen is a Science Fiction and Fantasy label. That's not to knock them. They publish dozens of truly excellent books every year and I'm a big fan of several writers (the aforementioned Eric Flint and David Weber in particular). They've also got a few books in the catalogue which are non-fiction works on the science involved in Sci-Fi. What they aren't however, is a political publisher. They publish entertainment, not education.

Still, to be honest, I'm really not surprised that Baen's finally taken the plunge into publishing right-wing populism. They've been doing it for years in stealth. I first noticed Baen's rightward lean when they published Tom Kratman's unpleasant screed, A State of Disorder. Anyone who can read the book's prologue alone and claim that it's completely balanced deserves a medal. The book itself is even worse, with possibly the most grotesque parody of Hillary Clinton ever written (Let's just say she starts off as a narcissistic closet lesbian who was actively involved in the death of her first running mate and that she gets worse), while the book's conclusion, a series of constitutional amendments rammed through by the good guys, is likely to provoke sheer horror in anyone left of Limbaugh (the amendment banning abortion alone is awe-inspiringly clueless and offensive). To be honest, my first response to ASOD was sheer horror, but now it's almost a nodding acceptance. This is what Baen does these days.

The years after ASOD haven't been good years either. Kratman's continued to write a handful of books, none of which can be really considered fair or balanced. His Caliphate might just have to considered one of the most incredibly racist science fiction novels ever. His Legion El Cid novels are a incredibly unpleasant screed about how Kratman 'would' fight the War on Terror, with a disturbing obsession with brutality. Kratman's books brim with right-wing anger and paranoia. He constantly casts all liberals as the enemy, with vehemence particularly reserved for the media (which he sees as terrorist supporters, let alone enablers) and 'transnationalists' (a weird right-wing fantasy about an illuminati of liberals looking to reintroduce Soviet style aristocracy). About the only thing that can be said for his books is that they so quickly accelerate past the suspension of disbelief as to at no time can you take the books for anything to do with reality.

No mention of Kratman would be done without mention his frequent collaborator, John Ringo. Mr Ringo is one of Baen's biggest authors, but unfortunately that seems to have only magnified his tendency towards the more ridiculous end of the political statement. Ghost is probably the best starting point. Ghost tells the story of a ex-Navy Seal who finds himself getting into multiple encounters with various Islamic terrorists while also meeting a bevy of beautiful girls. Think of it as the right-wing bastard child of Jack Bauer and James Bond. The book and its sequels are incredibly right-wing, attributing all failures in the War on Terror to either Clinton or political correctness. They're also incredibly over-sexed, frequently in directions that are incredibly tasteless and unforgivably vile (Any possible good feeling I felt for the main character disappeared by the end of Ghost, where he hires and rapes a prostitute, a scene written with far more detail than necessary).

As bad as Ghost and its sequels were, the true cherry on the top has to be The Last Centurion. If you want a full description, look at the review below. Here's its suffice to say that LTC is a book with only one real purpose: blame every ill in the world on liberals and suggest that right-wing solutions are the only way to fix the mess that the world is in. The first ten chapters of the book are little more than an extended, poorly thought out rant as to the failings of an imaginary female Democrat President (see a pattern here? Baen seems to have its hate on for Hillary), with her every move being exactly opposite to the logical path mapped out by the author. What makes the book so thoroughly objectionable was that it was published in late 2008, in a transparent attempt to be out before the presidential election (a decision presumably made when every one thought Hillary was a shoe-in for nominee).

Still, much of Ringo's work shines before his collaborations with Kratman. A Watch On The Rhine may just take the cup for most incredibly wacko book ever published by Baen. Again, see my review below for details, but in a nutshell, the SS save Germany from invading aliens. I'm going to repeat that, in case your mind instinctively wiped the idea from your head, the SS save Germany from invading aliens. The book is an ode to the SS' ruthless strength and epically manages to make the liberal villains less sympathetic than the cannibalistic aliens. Their other collaboration, Yellow Eyes, is an improvement, but only by a little. The story's relatively forgiveable and is frankly the best story to come from Kratman's pen, but it all falls over at the end. Kratman sees fit to include an afterword about some of the book's themes and the results are well, memorable. He offers a weird little rant about Transnationalists and their goals, vis-a-vis the International Court and warcrimes prosecution. Being, well, Kratman, he misses the point in style and comes to the conclusion that everything is an effort to hamstring the common soldier with the fear of prosecution. It's the kind of pap he pumps out on a regular basis, secure in his little happy place, uncaring as to the realities of the world.

I honestly don't mind some of the right-wing books published by Baen. I greatly enjoyed reading Freehold by Michael Z Williamson, even if I think the libertarian country at the centre of the story is a laughable fantasy. I'm also hugely tempted by Monster Hunter International by Larry Correria, a book with a notable anti-government theme. What I do mind is where the author can't put his politics behind the needs of the story. Many of the above books by Ringo and Kratman would be far better if they'd restrained their urges.

In all honesty, I feel much of my complaints about the above stories would be improved if their editors had restrained them. I can't imagine Yellow Eyes would have done worse without its repugnant afterword. Nor can I imagine A State of Disorder doing worse with its ridiculous liberal bashing excised. To be honest, I can't imagine any amount of editing fixing some of their other works (Watch On The Rhine). Honestly, I find it hard not to imagine an editor handing most of Ghost and Caliphate back to their respective authors with a message along the lines 'start again, less ick'. Quite frankly, there seems to be a decision by the editorial staff not to remove the more offensive lines of their right-wing authors, instead letting them run rampant.

This decision leads almost inexorably towards publishing something like Taxpayer's Teaparty. Baen already lends succour to the extreme right-wing by publishing fantasies of Liberal treachery and Conservative victory, so why shouldn't it directly help by publishing a blueprint to protest? It's hard to say exactly what Baen's lost here, but legitimacy is probably the best word to start with. The argument that Baen isn't a conservative company, with a distinct bias in a given direction has fallen over, probably forever. By publishing Taxpayer's Teaparty they've lost forever the right to claim that they are misrepresented.

It's possible that one day someone's going to look back at the history of Baen Books and directly trace it's decline to Taxpayer's Teaparty. It's definitely not a positive sign for the company, clearly trying to cash in on the conservative zeitgeist and it's going to backfire. Baen's already garnered an amazing amount of ill will with readers like myself, who don't enjoy having asinine politics shoved down our throats. The only reason I look at their site at the moment is to keep up with the latest books by David Weber and Eric Flint, as well as seeing if they've got any new authors that might catch my eye. As soon as those two leave Baen's fold, I'm gone as well.

A Watch On The Rhine

Author: Tom Kratman and John Ringo

Publisher: Baen Books

Quick Synopsis: Germany is forced to reform the SS to stave off alien invasion

Quick Review: An idea with potential mutilated by the wrong author

I have to admit that the idea behind A Watch on the Rhine is an original one: can the German SS really be redeemed? Are they the monsters of history, or are they misunderstood, patriots fighting for an evil regime? Unfortunately, the authors don't really manage to answer these questions. They go into the book with their own preconceived notions and don't manage to make them convincing. Worse, they let their own prejudices colour the story, further damaging their efforts by trying to score cheap points with hollow characterisation and weakarguments.

Plot: Set in John Ringo's Legacy of Aldenata universe, the book follows Germany's defence against the Posleen hordes (an alien species that considers all animal life food, up to and including their own dead and young). Aware that their army stands little chance, their government decides to rebuild the SS, using alien technology to regenerate the few survivors and give them fresh recruits to train (Just to be clear, by SS, I mean the Schutzstaffel, the paramilitary force within Nazi Germany infamous for running the concentration camps as well as several other atrocities). While the intention is to use the new units up in the coming conflict, they prove far more useful than that.

It's a measure of AWOTR that I'm still unsure on the central theme of whether or not the reputation of the SS can be redeemed. Quite simply, there is very little of the book devoted to this argument. Those few characters who make the argument that they are irredeemable and that Germany shouldn't resurrect them, regardless of the alien threat, are generally classed as at best misguided or at worse, villains (indeed the primary opposition is from one of the book's biggest villains). Kratman (Ringo appears to have been very hands-off on the novel, going from the authorial afterword included with the book) ultimately seems uninterested in this argument, consistently portraying every SS character as mostly apolitical, with little interest in any aspect of Nazi ideology (the exception would have to be the vile Kreuger, who openly celebrates his service in the Totenkopf brigades, those parts of SS who served in the concentration camps). Most memorably, this occurs early on in the novel, when one of the old SS encounters an Israeli army officer. It is the Israeli who is portrayed as being out-of-line, not the SS officer who barely seems to care. The few references to the SS's crimes are simply waved away with either a distinction of the Totenkopf's responsibility or the excuse of 'everyone did the same thing', an argument best saved for the schoolyard. To be blunt, Kratman simply doesn't care about the SS's crimes, paying mere lip-service to the pain that they have caused.

Unfortunately, if a mere inability to make a decent argument was the biggest problem with AWOTR that probably wouldn't have made the book as bad as it is. No what really picks the book up and slaps it out of the park is Kratman's political axe-grinding on top of the sensitive subject matter. Remember that villain I mentioned above, the one opposed to the resurrection of the SS? He is the leader of a cabal of left-wing and green (he's the leader of the Greens in the Bundestag)politicians who assist in an alien conspiracy to weaken Germany's defences in before the invasion, in an effort to ensure humanity's downfall. His explanation for this when confronted? He's 'protecting' the Earth by using the Posleen to wipe out the excess population, planning to return with his evacuated family and do things 'right' after the Posleen have been eradicated. The entire speech where this is admitted is gloriously over-the-top and ridiculous, sounding as if he's ad-libbing the villain from Moonraker. What of course makes this all the more laughable is that the Posleen are known for destroying the worlds they conquer, breaking out into nuclear infighting as their population spirals out of control. The protests he organises earlier on are just as ridiculous, with SS characters musing about the hypocrisies evident within the crowds and the protesters being portrayed as brain-washed and clueless(crowning this is the protester who is so impressed by the SS riot police that he immediately goes off to a recruiting station). Most disturbingly, this gives a creepy moment in one scene, where the German chancellor orders the SS to arrest all of the members of the conspiracy to weaken the defences, implying to the reader that the SS are occupying the same quasi-political position they had in the Third Reich, acting as the muscle for those hunting 'enemies of the state'.One cannot help, but get the feeling that Kratman views the liberal characters as more evil than the Posleen, who are often treated with more empathy than the humans (please note that these are the aliens who make use of human shields and make a quilt of human hair during the course of the book).

These issues unfortunately overshadow the book's actual plot. Not that that isn't a good thing. There's very little coherence to the book's set up and Kratman is very bad at setting the scene for all of the action sequences. The narrative is spread over about five years, covering the preparation for the first and then second waves of invasion as well as the battles fought during them, but there seems to be little development during the time-skips (most notably, the few 'new' SS characters don't seem to receive any sort of promotions during the book, despite being veterans of the first wave). The book is also achingly non-canonical, frequently violating many of the setting's rules (Ringo constructed an alien force for which the best counter is infantry supported with artillery, while Kratman instead plants the SS forces in supertanks). Perhaps worse is the actual reason given for the necessity of resurrecting the SS. The stated rational is that Germany needs everything it can get, that its own military lacks the training cadre needed for the massive expansion necessary. It all rings a little hollow. Kratman consistently portrays the regular German army as weak and cowardly, crippled by political correctness. The SS are necessary because Kratman makes them necessary, effectively writing them in by authorial fiat. There's little consideration given to the repercussions, nor are the German opposition portrayed as anything other than clueless. Grotesquely, the book's epilogue has the surviving characters engaging in what is implied to be genocide in the future, deliberately attacking a planet of the alien species which has been playing the Posleen against the humans with the intention of destroying their entire species.

Most laughable is Kratman's big theme of 'Survival overrides programming'. He tries to make the argument that the modern military is not ruthless enough and that modern sensibilities are to blame. Unfortunately, the theme is shoehorned into the book, primarily with a French woman who is a liberal stereotype as only Kratman can write them, ie clueless. In a poorly thought out scene near the end, her son fails to demolish a crucial bridge during battle. Kratman would like you to believe that it his liberal 'programming' that is to blame, but unfortunately that's about the last conclusion the reader is likely to draw. The boy in question is a child soldier in his first battle, who's placed in a position of utmost importance. The bridge in question is packed with human refugees at the time, being used by the Posleen as human shields. As far as can be seen, Kratman decides that mere human compassion is an obstacle that can be blamed on liberalism. Disturbingly, his authorial afterword suggests that he considers this to be a major problem in the War on Terror.

Watch on the Rhine is not a good book. The arguments made within are hollow and self-serving, the story is instantly forgettable and the characters are weak. Kratman seems to think that the SS's talent for ruthlessness forgives all of their sins, when he is not drawing false equivalences between their crimes and the Allies'. His personal politics colour the narrative, with left-wing politics being made out to be the biggest threat to the cast. This is unfortunate, given that he is essentially writing in support of one of the greatest right-wing perversions in history. Watch on the Rhine is at its core a poorly thought out polemic which, given its sensitive subject matter, is all the more appalling. One of the worst books I've ever read.

X-men Misfits

Authors:Dave Roman, Raina Telgemeier and Anbu
Publishers: Delrey Manga
Quick Synopsis: Girl finds she is the only female student at a school for mutants
Quick Review: Entertaining take on the classic series with a nice story

It's one of those rules of law that any comic book series will have multiple reinterpretations. This goes doubly so for the big classics, like Superman, Spiderman and X-men. Still, to say X-Men: Misfits is an odd approach to the classic comic books is a little bit of an understatement. The authors take the X-men cast and put them into probably the least expected situation: A Shoujo-manga love triangle. I'm pretty sure that's the strangest thing to have ever happened to a comic book series, excepting perhaps Marvel Apes.
Plot: Kitty Pryde (better known to the wider world as Shadowcat, a mutant with the ability to walk through walls) leaves her school to escape the anti-mutant bullying and enrols in Xavier's Academy for the Gifted. Unfortunately for her, her dreams of fitting in are quickly dashed when she discovers she's the only girl in the school. Things only improve when she is befriended by the Hellfire Club (Angel, Havoc, Pyro, Forge and Quicksilver), a group for the most popular and powerful students in the school.
Misfits presents an unusual take on the X-men franchise. There are no megalomanical plots, no crazed mutant hunting warmachines and no costumes. Indeed, this book is so far away from the standard comic book plots you might be expecting that many of the cast do not even have their callsigns. Case in point: the character that invites Kitty to the school is Eric Lensherr. Yes, that Eric Lensherr, better known as Magneto (it's also the most mellow take on him I've ever seen).
Instead, the story's a gentle love story. Kitty's relationship with the members of the Hellfire Club primarily centres around her romance with Pyro (it should be noted that the only people to use their mutant names are the Hellfire Club members). This relationship is nicely written, with Kitty finding the attention enjoyable, while having difficulty asserting herself against the strong personalities of her friends. This proves to be an interesting plot line, with Kitty acting in a highly believable fashion, enjoying their company while still being put out by their actions, especially their open contempt for 'human' learning. The ending is a little bit jarring as it suddenly descends into a fight between the Hellfire Club and several other students. The fallout from this leads into the next book, as well as establishing several other parts of the series' own version of the X-men mythology.
The art work is definitely far into the 'shoujo' realm, full of large numbers of androgynous men and sparkles. Not that this does work. The few female characters (notably Storm and Kitty) are clearly so without exaggeration and there's little doubt as too who's a guy and who's not. It's of a consistently high quality, with both good character designs and detailed backgrounds. The few action sequences are well laid out and clear, far less confusing than many other manga I've read. The authors make usage of a certain amount of character deformation (instant cat-ears and chibi mostly) for comedic scenes, which works well. Virtually every character is prettied up for the book, with occasionally jarring moments (Nightcrawler manages to be handsome, despite being blue and having his tail and all).The only art issue I have isn't to do with bad art, rather bad design. The non-human designs (for Beast and Colossus) are, to be frank, laughable. Beast looks like something akin to the famous Totoro of Ghibli fame (think large, fat cat thing) while Colossus is so unrecognisable transformed that I originally didn't recognise him until his name finally sank in.
The script of the book is tight and genuinely interesting. Kitty works well as central character, fitting into the misfit theme well. Her battles with her phasing power prove interesting and defining (the pearl is either her flight with Angel, which consists of her desperately thinking 'please stay solid, please stay solid' or how she learns she can hold her breath for longer than normal). There's no cheap 'aha' moments as she works through her issues, but she's clearly a different person by the end of the story. Most of the characters fit in well, with little jarring. However, the introduction and placement of a few characters feels a little forced. Notable is Gambit's introduction which consists of a two page scene of him cooking for Kitty in silence. There seems to be a deliberate effort to make some characters' identity a little unsure. Most notably is Gambit, who's identity is entirely based off his dark corneas and his constant playing with cards, and someone I hope is The Blob, mainly because I can't think of any other mutants who can absorb enemy attacks and are over-weight. There's a nice vein of humour running through the book, mostly thanks to Kitty's thoughts and observations (her mental image of Professor X is the funniest page in the book).
Misfits is a strange book and I won't deny that I bought it purely out of morbid curiosity. However, it's a nice story and one I enjoyed far more than similar shoujo novels. It's sufficiently interesting and well written that it could stand alone without the X-men label. The guessing game played with the characters' names provides an entertaining meta-diversion through out the book and is often amusing (showing X-Men fans random pages from the book and saying 'that's X' never gets old). It's definitely worth a read, with a fresh interpretation on the old favourites.

Legend

I kind of promised myself I wasn't going to review John Ringo's 'Kildar' series. Thankfully I found this and there is no way I can top it:

Hradzka is awesome.

money quote:

Also, to take care of the trainers' needs, he brings in whores.

LOOK, I TOLD YOU. HE ADOPTS THEM. LIKE CATS.

Little Brother

Author: Corey Docterow
Quick sketch: Young boy finds his destiny when fighting the forces of his government
Quick Review: good, if unsubtle

When I first started reading Little Brother, the quickest image that jumped into my head was my personal bugbear: The Last Centurion by John Ringo. They're both American novels about the collapse/ disintegration of the normal rules with a distinct political bias. In addition, both use the first person perspective and are heavily inspired by the Bush Era. That's about where the similarity ends, as I greatly enjoyed Little Brother (My opinion of TLC is a lot more pungent).
Firstly, Plot: Marcus and his friends find themselves caught up in a terrorist attack in San Francisco(for which there are never any suspects). In an attempt to get help after one is stabbed, they flag down a military vehicle and are instead arrested. After several days of imprisonment and punishment, Marcus and his two uninjured friends are released, leaving his injured best friend in prison. Discovering the city transfigured by the new security laws put in place (by the Department of Homeland Security) while he was imprisoned, Marcus finds himself almost accidentally leading the rebellion against the DHS.
The majority of Little Brother revolves around Marcus' efforts to disrupt the DHS' tracking systems and their efforts to find him. These various strategies generally revolved around the technology involved, including internet encryption, mathematics, RFID tracking and a load more. These strategies are non-violent and frequently funny, more about pointing out the inadequacies of the systems and their over-reach. The science/ maths behind these strategies is well described and clear, at least to my level of comprehension. The phrase 'little brother' itself is coined by an anonymous ally, to describe any attempt to record the actions of the DHS and show up their own incompetencies.
Little Brother's emphasis is on the little guy. Marcus does not do that much, physically at least. Instead it is his example and leadership that propel him. Early on, he founds the Xnet, a semi-underground network of hacked-Xbox users from which his rebellion grows. It is his efforts on here to rally civil disobedience that propel him forwards, whether it's to invent new ways to cause trouble or simply to build a coherent ideology behind his disobedience (Doctorow bases much of the novel's arguments around several excerpts from the Constitution).
The great element in Little Brother is the contrast between Marcus and his online persona 'M1k3y'. M1k3y quickly becomes this fearless, intelligent international celebrity, being interviewed by the BBC and other international news groups. However, Marcus is this scared kid, growing up very fast as he begins to realise how deep he's gotten. The distinction becomes very evident when Marcus begins to take a personal stand, rather than working out of his bedroom and in secret. Doctorow captures the mixture of fear and determination here very well, as Marcus finds himself being gradually sucked into the DHS' overgrowing insanity, frequently without any real effort on his part.
Doctorow does a good job of capturing the various personalities Marcus interacts with. A big element is his slightly crazy girlfriend Ange, who provides a degree of humour and support when Marcus needs it. Their growing relationship is one of the joys of the book and something that definitely showed up my cynicism. Other characters are believable and clearly distinct in their own right. Marcus' parents in particular make a great duality, with his mother clearly against the increased surveillance and his father for it, giving a kinda glimpse at the average person's perspective. Marcus' friends also have their own Meta-roles, with the two who are released dropping out of his rebellion as they begin to realise exactly how dangerous it is becoming.
My only complaint with Little Brother is that the portrayal of the DHS is a little heavy handed (whether or not it is true, is perhaps another question). The sole face of the DHS is a woman, known through out the book as 'Severe-Haircut Woman' by Marcus. She's cruel and brutal to him and keeps his injured friend for little or no reason. The DHS also reacts to all challenges to its authority with heavy-handed violence (in one scene they tear-gas and baton charge an illegal concert). One sequence involves Marcus seeing footage of the initial meeting between the DHS and the White House, in which the DHS representative (severe haircut woman) is given clear permission to to whatever she wants as 'the country sees this place as a Sodom and Gomorrah of fags'. There's also a suggestion the President's advisors are allowing terrorism to keep their man elected, which pretty much defines not subtle.
Little Brother is an interesting mixture of rebellion and maturation. You find yourself living the story of Marcus and M1k3y to a surprising degree. His dual instincts to survive and to fight back make the story a constant contrast, as he is never the fearless rebel. The book as a whole is an interesting take on a technological police state, if taken a little too far. Most of the digressions into the tech are informative rather than interesting and generally give you an idea of the history and just why something is happening rather than 'because'. Anyone interested in the relationship between freedom, technology and security could do well to read this.

The Last Centurion

Author: John Ringo

Publisher: Baen Books

Quick Sketch: Narrator overcomes political stupidity while surviving an end-of-the-world near-miss

Quick Review: Avoid like the plague, unless you're an American conservative (actually not even then)

It's not often I walk away from a book swearing. It's even less often it'll make me do it within the first ten chapters. That's what happened with me when I read the preview of The Last Centurion on Baen Books' website (www.baen.com) in the summer of '08. It actually took me two goes to read the nine chapters available and I'll be honest: I finished it in a morbid desire to see just how bad it could get. I then (not very) quietly steamed to my friends about it and did my level best to forget about it. Nine months of denial later (with muchous venting), I downloaded the full version (legally). My opinion fell even further. I not just disliked the plot and ideas, I actually found the entire thing to be mind-numbingly bad from almost every viewpoint.

Let's start with a statement: I am not a conservative, especially not the American version of the same. I'm a liberal. In the last few elections I've found myself leaning towards Liberal Democrat, but I haven't made my mind up who I'm voting for in the next election (David Cameron has made a positive impression on me, but then again so has Nick Clegg). As such, I am not TLC's target audience. I am not supposed to like this book.

The Last Centurion is written in an autobiographical/ blog style. It recounts the main character(Bandit Six as he calls himself)'s experiences during what he delightfully terms 'The Time of Suckage'. This is around 2019, when bird flu goes pandemic (the Plague) and global cooling (the Big Chill) thrashes the world's eco-system. The damage (30%-60% of the world's population, see later) is further exacerbated by the titanic failures of the Democratic US President. Bandit Six recounts his story of being abandoned in the Middle East and fighting his way back home, only to have to fix the US when he gets there.

Ringo's biggest failing here is writ large across the whole book. Quite simply, he can't do the first person perspective. Only three characters leap off the page at you: Samad, the leader of the Nepalese troops Bandit Six ends up with, President Warrick, the Democratic President who is simply stunning in her outright caricature of Hillary Clinton (it verges on libel, to be blunt), and of course Bandit Six himself. Unfortunately, this isn't to suggest that they're good characters. Samad comes of as a confused British Empire copycat, Warrick is one-dimensionally insane and Bandit Six is a hyper partisan know-it-all. Every other character is barely named and little more than a cipher (his entire chain of command is reduced to their ranks and Bandit Six's opinion of them).

This is one of the real irritants of TLC: Bandit Six. I can to be frank, kinda of ignore his screaming partisanship, but his know-it-all nature just drags and drags and drags. TLC is divided into three books. In book one, he explains (in nine chapters of progressively more irritating detail) how the world and the US collapses, via his knowledge of farming (he's the son of a farmer). Book two details his experiences of in the Middle East as it all collapses. Book Three finishes with his exploits in the US as he rebuilds the agricultural system and then deals with some of the worst hit areas.

Problem is, he comes off as somewhere between Superman, Einstein and God. During the course of the book he lays the ground work for an independent Kurdistan and a Persian nation allied to the US, creates two hyper-popular TV shows, saves the US agricultural system, saves Detroit from Islamic servitude and shatters the US media's liberal bias. He constantly dumps massive amounts of information at you, all of which seems to have passed the government by. The book comes of as a massive amount of 'I-love-me' which is just shocking. By the end you're waiting for Bandit Six to pull another massive save out of his ass.

Another element that just falls over is his TV show 'The Centurions'. Basically, as Bandit Six is passing through Baghdad, Rupert Murdoch (humourously, Ringo seems not to have noticed that A) Murdoch is Australian, and B) he also owns Fox), in an attempt to up his ratings, drops a camera crew on him to get some real info on what he's up to (Bandit Six's unit having become a bit of a cause celebre by now, thanks to being abandoned). Bandit Six then forces them to show what he's really doing, rather than being the usual liberally-biased media. It becomes a smash hit almost over night.

Ringo writes TLC as if the reader is familiar with the TV show. This simply does not work. A particularly good example is an episode called 'Cam(P)ing' which Bandit Six describes how funny it is to watch afterwards but how steamed he was at the time. Problem is, you never get told why he was so steamed (All you know is that the Nepalese manage to accidentally blow up one of his support vehicles). 'Cam(P)ing' is referred to several times, but it's never actually explained what happens. Thus you are left with this confused question in your head for the rest of the book.

The political bias within TLC is frankly stunning. Every chance Ringo gets, he blames one of three groups: The liberals, the media or the State Department (though mostly the liberals). He cheerfully details case studies, which show liberals being less able to deal with difficult situations (during this he just devolves to calling them tofu-eating grasshoppers. I hate Tofu, by the way), being less competent and more selfish. Whenever the sensible option isn't available, it's the fault of one of the three. It's plot by numbers, giving you the feeling the book was sponsored by the Republican National committee or the NRA.

This bias comes across most blatantly with President Warrick. He characterises her from the beginning as ideologically bound, clueless and a micro-manager. In fact she's so incompetent, I just kept thinking she was inspired by Bush, but even he's not that bad (A particular favourite of mine is the emergency powers act her mindless Congress passes which allows for the removal of habeus corpus. Remind me again which President and party actually did that in the last decade?). What bothers me the most here is that this book was release in July '08. This book was clearly intend to influence the election as Warrick is very obviously Hilary Clinton. There's one bit where Bandit Six is discussing the 'temporary king' concept of presidential power and he mentions the 'Bush, Warrick, Bush, Warrick' dynasty. Given that the time line (TLC starts in 2019) makes the above set up impossible: there's only two elections between now and then with you needing to some how fit in four elections, even assuming three single term presidencies, the only real conclusion is that he's really referring to 'Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton'.

It doesn't help that Bandit Six rabidly hates her (he generally refers to her as 'The Bitch'). There's one bit when he's detailing the messed up vaccination plan for the US and he describes the transcribed meeting between her and her advisors. She sides with her female (civilian)advisers, not her male (military) advisers. Ringo characterises this as militant feminism with the strident phrase 'Men had testicles and therefore were Wrong' (direct quote).

A final issue is the huge hammer aspect of the book. Nothing is subtle. His examples of media bias are more reminiscent of Soviet propaganda (near the end, he talks about a news report about civilians massacred where CNN has carefully avoided recording the manacles that held them in place while the bad guys used them as a human shield. Did I mention the media blames the US military?). Ringo has a huge problem in this respect. He simply doesn't seem to grasp convergence or individual bias. Instead, he constantly ascribes a sense of conspiracy to everything.

Frankly, I could go on and on about the sheer awfulness of The Last Centurion. There are dozens of other points I could make like his shilling for Bush, his yen for made up statements and some decidedly questionable racial statements. The ending makes the usual USA-USA hollywood movie ending look well written and original (it's less of a send-off and more an embarrassing rant), the book is disjointed and poorly plotted and the characterisation is paper-thin. Ringo has always allowed his politics to influence his writing, but this book simply removes the veneer of his usually excellent ideas, characters and laugh out loud dialogue. In its place we get a masterclass in how not to write in the first person and a sperm-soaked display of Conservative masturbation.

A final note: The Last Centurion most reminds me of the excellent Max Brooks novel World War Z. It's written in similar style (WWZ is a collection of interviews with survivors) and details the global collapse under the pressure of incoming apocalypse (due to a zombie invasion) and civilization's gradual resurgence. Problem is, WWZ is more believable. And it has zombies.

Welcome (now flee)

Welcome! Come in and have a look around. There isn't much up at the moment, but that'll change over the next few weeks.
Firstly, a confession: This blog is here entirely here to pimp my writing. As time goes by, I'll be adding in scenes and stories from my overactive imagination in the attempt to build up some buzz, because I want to get published. I warned you, so don't complain.
Alongside that, I'll be writing reviews of the frankly unhealthy amount of popular culture I consume. I'll be meandering around my diverse selection of interests, pretty much depending on my mood and insipration. Hopefully, what I say will interest you and direct you towards interesting arenas. Otherwise It'll irritate you and scare you off (bets on the second).
Still welcome. Stay awhile and have a look.